So about two weeks ago, on my birthday, I was in Savannah. I wasn't there to cruise or hook up. I was only there to sun and rest from some turbulent 5 months at my job and to celebrate solo on my 39th birthday. But like all of us men, who love and/or fuck other men, do in a new city (unless we are in a committed, healthy relationship--phuleese!) I took out Grindr and Growlr and dipped into the local scene to see what type of fauna (bears, and otters and wolves--oh my!) was available.Eventually I heard the notification ringing and the guy on the other end began the dance called: Do you wanna Fuck. But toward the end of the conversation, he asked if I was masc or femme. I can be a limp-wristed fairy especially when I am hocking lotion at work but I consider myself more neutral in mannerisms. Still I don't especially care one way or the other. When the wannabe 'Bro' pulled out that phrase, I gave his profile a deeper look and realized he was either very closeted and/or married or just a self-hating queer. None of which appealed to me.
I ended up blocking him but the question he asked continues to nag at me. I know that preferences are very sectionalized in the LGBTQ community but I wonder if that leads to or is systematic to internalized prejudices or fears. When people ask me what type of guy I like, I know, especially living in Atlanta and having lived in Korea, they are asking first on race and then consecutively on other qualifiers. I usually quip about being an equal opportunity employer on such matters (and mostly mean it) but it chafes at me how quick we are to categorize and label and yes I am aware I do it as well.
So that leads to my question: Is it Just Preference or Is It Discrimination?
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