My Type of Hot Mess: Saint Motel

So I am waiting to see American Ultra. I usually watch movies on Saturday. While I am waiting for the movie to start I hang out at Starbucks and watch YouTube videos. YouTube has a My Mix playlist that loads videos previously watched or videos you might like. In the playlist is a video by Saint Motel called My Type. It's a catchy song and the drummer is hot. Greg Erwin plays the bartender in the video. He is the drummer.

I think he is the cutest. He also reminds me of a fling I had with South African Mark in January and February of 2014. Mark was gorgeous and a gorgeous hot mess. At best I am a 6.5. But he was a 9, his body was beginning to go pudgy from the alcohol. Mark was also younger than me and on a scale of crazy a 10.  My Bipolar 2 was cycling hard that winter and I was an easy 8. With him I reached a 10. The first night we spent together, we both hit each other while drunk. I was turned on so was he. The next morning, my headache was pounding from all the liquor but my hypomania was driving me to clean and organize on a Sunday while a hot guy laid in my bed. A hot mess who I had had disastrous sex with.

I don't necessarily have a physical type. I am an equal opportunity kinda hook up. Yet my crazy seeks a more crazy guy. BTW, my mood disorder is being managed so no hot messes in my life at the moment. A bit boring I know.

So what's your type of Crazy?

Gay Animal Archetypes

I was going to do a TBT post but wasn't inspired. Last night I was talking to my roommate and asked her if in the straight community body types and styles were referred to in animalistic terms, such as bears, otters, etc. She thought about it, briefly. Her answer was no.

I am not sure when gay men started to identify with animal archetypes but I do know as we get older we move on from high school archetypes and more and more associate with our animal brethren. Not to say old qualifiers aren't bandied around like show queen or circuit boy but it seems in the gay community we have reached a new era and it's a bit beastly.

Here are some of the more known Animalistic Archetypes:

Bears
Bears are hairy, big, and usually older. Cubs are younger and may not be as hairy as a bear. The Bear community has split itself into sub categories. Mostly into bears that are just fat and big versus the ones that work out and are fat and muscular. Bears are usually found on Growlr and eschew say Grindr. Bears are more masculine oriented.









Otters
Otters are guys who have more of a swimmers build but are hairy. They are also a bit cutesy and boyish despite being any age. You can find otters on any gay app or dating site, usually sporting a baseball cap with hairy abs showing, and mischievous grins.








Wolves
Like bears they are very masculine and very hairy. But whereas Bears are friendly and open, wolves tend to be more dominant and intimidating. Muscular with a leaner body type than a bear (even a muscled bear) and very sexually aggressive. A good way to tell a muscled wolf apart from a muscled bear is a bear is usually a bit smiley and even when fit has a bit of a paunch on him. Mostly seen on Scruff.












Pig
A pig is not a fat man. Pigs well are sexually piggy. Usually submissive and will do anything for their Wolf master. Pigs are usually muscular but actual body type is reflective on the fetish of those they are piggishly submitting to. (NO IMAGE: I am trying to keep this blog PG-13 on the images. There are no clean images of a Pig. That is something you should google on your own.)

I am slightly chubby. Not hairy really. Except my legs which I think is lucky because unless you are a swimmer I don't think smooth legs on a man is acceptable. I can't really grow a beard that looks bearish or wolfish and I don't work out. (I should but am afraid of injuries after hurting my tricep in 2007 and then putting too much icy hot on it--essentially frying the nerve for a while.) Maybe I am a Seal or a Dolphin or just a human being.

What is your Animal Archetype?

Blues

Big post tomorrow. Promise. Was feeling a certain kinda way all day. I just don't know how to get motivated lately.

Games

I have been dating since 18. I talked about that in my first blog. Anyway I am a pro by now at dating games: playing them and getting played. All is fair in dating and hook ups, right?

I thought going out with a Youth Minister would be different especially since we both laid out in the pre-date (in online dating pre-dating is the texting you do before actually meeting) that we didn't want to view this as a hook up. And we didn't. Though we did have a big make out session.

On Sunday the Youth Minister texted me. He said he was also seeing someone else and he wanted to go further with that guy. But he still wanted to be my friend. I told him off of course. Though we had been dating (four dates is dating) for a short time, it still stung.

And we didn't even fuck.

My Top Five Hot Spies:

I like spy movies. As I've gotten older I've learned to enjoy the near improbable plots and silly twists (even in serious Spy Movies.) I am about to go see The Man from U. N. C. L. E., so because of this all hot spies in U. N. C. L. E.  are not listed since I haven't seen the movie yet. Now let's get to counting.

1. Daniel Craig's James Bond. Yes. I know Sean Connery. But Sean never gave us this.

2. Bruce Willis' Frank Moses from RED. I loved that movie from the moment I saw Bruce Willis take down all those guys in his house. Bruce Willis has always been that Hot Daddy type. The one you know would slow burn as he fucked you. Occasionally spanking your ass just to show you who's in charge.

3.Taron Egerton's Eggsy from Kingsman: The Secret Service. Colin Firth was handsome in his old school spy mode but Eggsy was that cute bloke that you wanted to save you and then fuck you.

4. Matt Damon's Jason Bourne from the Bourne Trilogy. I started getting into spy movies when I saw Matt Damon kick serious ass while trying to recover his memory. Though probably hot in bed, you do need to watch out for those dangerous flashbacks during coitus.

5. Simon Pegg's Benji Dunn from the Mission Impossible franchise. I know, why not other hot men such as Tom. I like nerdy types as well as buff bodies. Simon Pegg's humor and quirky wit is hot enough to get me going on those long stakeouts.

TBT: He-Man

TBT: He-Man

He-Man was the first celebrity crush I had. I don't remember when I first watched He-Man but I remember knowing instinctively that I was not watching it for the plot lines or the production values. Prince Adam was ok but I (a bottom) knew he was a fellow bottom and it would never work between us. Prince Adam was also kinda Meh. I like my men a little crazy. The steroids that pumped up Adam into He-Man (c'mon you know that light was filled with nano steroids) came from the Sorceress and she was crazy herself. The byotch had agoraphobia.

Anyway something about He-Man in that loincloth with his deep voice spoke to the little queer in me. I was around five when I first saw He-Man so I knew it wasn't a sexual attraction per se, but I wanted him to hold me. Plus every time he would mount Battle Cat I would experience waves of jealousy. When I got my first toy, I was so excited. Unfortunately I didn't have a huge He-Man collection because we were very poor. (Trailer Park Poor.) I was always jealous of my cousins who had a better collection of He-Man.

Right now I am watching an episode on YouTube. It's the one where Prince Adam's mother has her own TBT remembering her past as an astronaut. Watching it now I am kinda bored. Even the kitschness of the show only goes so far. But still though I have out grown He-Man, I will forever be grateful to him and his loincloth.

Who was your first celebrity crush?

Male Celebrity Nudes

Lenny Kravitz's crotch split was news last week. In the media he has been a sport but privately he has expressed his embarrassment. Some reports  saying he is considering suing any outlet that continues to publish, share, or tweet the images.

I personally say he should let it die. Yes we will all remember it and those photos will forever live on the internet. However news cycles are so fast that most will forget or just not care about Crotch Split Lenny. He should just focus on his meh music.

True confession sometimes when I get bored I google a male celebrity's name with the added term nude. Yes I know it's wrong but I want to know what they are working with.

That Awkward Moment

That Awkward Moment:

I watched the movie That Awkward Moment last night with the Youth Minister (fourth date--are we dating?). It's a bro movie with Zac Efron, Miles Teller, and Michael B. Jordan. Beyond the raunch (and I was a bit shocked that I found the movie not as raunchy as the Youth Minister--something to think about), the movie is a about three friends at crossroads in their relationships with women. Two, Miles and Zac, are single sluts who have rosters of women that they sleep with and then dump when That Awkward Moment happens, usually based on the conjunction "So". Awkward because it is a moment in a relationship when the future is discussed. Michael is a workaholic doctor who has his own Awkward Moment when his wife files for divorce and he finds out she is also fucking said divorce attorney. I liked the movie though it did get bad reviews. Youth Minister liked it as well.

But the movie got me thinking about my own awkward moments. Moments when in a relationship, or when you are dating someone and you need to assess if this is going somewhere or not, you meet that crossroad. In my first blog post I talked about having two boyfriends at the same time when I just became sexually active. With Juan our awkward moment happened when we were about to have anal sex and I had a melt down about the nature of our relationship, what it was and where it was going. We had been having so much oral sex that I confused SEX with LOVE. Suffice it to say the relationship ended that night. I was so upset and hated him and at once would do anything to have him back. I was pathetic. But I am glad for that Awkward Moment. It strengthened me and helped me realize that SEX and LOVE are not equal.  I think it is also worth mentioning that Juan was in his late 20's and I was 18.

Right now, I also feel awkward. With the Youth Minister I feel like we are moving at a glacial pace. Sexually I should point out. I usually at least blow a guy on the first date but we haven't even gotten our shirts off and he didn't want to kiss me last night because he felt a cold coming on. UGH! Sexually it's glacial but that Awkward Moment is coming up fast.

So....What are your Awkward Moments?

Oh and after the jump is the best NSFW scene from the movie.

DILF: Gavin Rossdale

DILF:Gavin Rossdale


I haven't thought of Gavin Rossdale in years. Haven't listened to his music (does he still make new music?) since the 90's when I was a teenager. Gavin has recently appeared back in the news with the break up of his marriage to Gwen Stefani.


The thing about Gavin is he is bisexual. Having come out after being called out by Boy George. Georgie said Rossdale had an affair with Peter Robinson aka Marilyn. Eventually Rossdale fessed up to the 5 year fling saying it was youthful experimentation. To me Rossdale was the best in Constantine with Keanu Reeves. I loved that sexy demon look he had going on. Now that he is split from Gwen maybe this time he will find love with a guy. All us 'Mo's can dream.

Sexual Mind Games

Playing Games

Why do we play games? I am not talking about board games or video games or online games or any of those kinds of strategy adventures. I am talking about Mind Games. The kind of bullshit you do to control the people in your life. Well there in lies the answer. We use Mind Games to control and a need to control rises mostly out of insecurity in ourselves. A sense of insecurity leads to feelings of powerlessness. We want to feel powerful in relationships: love, sex, work, and family and friends . This blog is a sexual exploration blog. A place where we can go to have a discussion about sex and how it effects and affects love and relationships and health. Which leads me to the Kings of sexual mind games: The Pick Up Artist.
           
Pick Up Artists (PUA) are people who use learned skills to find and attract sexual partners. The Art of Seduction. Most people have flirted in their adult sexual life. Flirted, courted, talked up, chatted, sexted. Trying to get laid is nothing new. Even birds and bees do it. So the Art of Seduction is something we have all practiced but PUA's are a different breed. They seem to view seduction as not just finding a mate but as a skill to find conquests. These guys and gals (but this community is really made up of mostly guys) are the underdogs of society; people who feel insecure about themselves and view the skills they learn from master PUA's as a means to take control of their sexual life. There are some benevolent tricks and techniques you can learn from PUA's but mostly the nerds (I am a gay nerd) who practice this art have feelings of entitlement and use these skills in negative ways.

Many view what they do as a true game. And if played well invigorate their sense of entitlement.They jumped through hoops, showed their smarts and agility, defeated Bowser and now demand the Princess. But what if the Princess doesn't want them? Or what if she shows her gratefulness in a hug, a kiss, or just a kind word? Are PUA's, or the Mario cosplay nerds, entitled to getting laid? NO! And that is the issue with Mind Games. We play them to control, to take, to feel superior but what about the victims of the games we play? Many times in the PUA community an Artist meets a Princess who opts out of playing the game. Has defeat Bowser all on her own. And then the vilification of said Princess begins because the PUA feels somehow cheated.

My point is this: Sexual mind games never end well. At best feelings get hurt and the PUA thinks one conquest should net more or worse, in some cases sexual assualt. Let's stop playing Mind Games especially sexual mind games.

DILF of the day: Crotch Split Lenny

DILF: Lenny Kravitz
Or better known as Dad I'd like to fuck. In this case Dad I'd like to fuck me. Let's talk about Lenny Kravitz. As a lot of you might know, Lenny had a 'wardrobe malfunction' during a performance in Stockholm. I would have visuals but this blog is mostly PG-13 when it comes to IMAGES. and I am at Starbucks. The good seats where I could discreetly post an image are not available. but here is a link that you can access to see the crotch split that the world didn't know it needed until it happened.

http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2015/08/04/lenny-kravitz-pants-rip-on-stage-exposes-penis/


NOW we know how lucky Lisa Bonet and Nicole Kidman (among others) are--I use the present tense because though they aren't riding him now the memories are still alive for these women. Not the biggest penis I've seen * but nothing to be ashamed of and definitely something worth riding cowgirl/cowboy on. I always thought Lenny's music was mostly Meh but damn he is a fine man.

*Or the biggest I've had though I am not a size queen.

If you are going to shade, shade strong.

Not sure what to write. Maybe about the whole sipping tea thing. I don't like tea. I find it gross unless it is ice cold and black. Green tea is how I would imagine Koala piss to taste like. I prefer coffee, hot coffee, even on a hot day. So sipping tea for those of you that don't know, means to sip the truth or to tell the truth in a way that isn't bad but is necessary, so it might hurt the recipients feelings but is as gentle as the truth can be.

I have been told, and know this of myself, that I can be brutally honest. I have been aware of how I can come across. It usually is brought out by other bullies or if I see someone being unfair to other outcasts or with family members at the height of reacting to their fuckery. (I am not talking about the incidents where I have been an outright bully. Not proud of that but I was and can be a bully.) I am tempered now through Buddhist studies but the meanness can rise up with viciousness.

I sometimes find the catty way fellow gays deal with the world tiresome. A lot of gay men revert to this mean girl persona as a defense mechanism. A wall of snark that is barbed. Not necessarily armed but sharp enough to cut and possibly maim. When I watch straight men play around with punches and smart remarks I know gay men do it with each other too, just with more words and fewer punches. (I once had a friend mock in front of me how she thought gay men would fight each other. She lisped and swatted like cats do. Yes it was offensive but I told her rightly I came from the trailer park and we come correct. I was taught how to punch by a lesbian. After a while the boys at school stopped trying to fight me because they eventually realized, as faggy as I was, I could fight back. Not to say I was great at throwing a punch but I was good enough to surprise a few assholes. Girls on the other hand were always trying to fight me.)

So I am fatigued from all this. I don't like to fight and I don't like confrontation but I think if you are going to tell the truth, don't sip tea. Drink coffee. If you are going to shade, shade strong.