If you are going to shade, shade strong.

Not sure what to write. Maybe about the whole sipping tea thing. I don't like tea. I find it gross unless it is ice cold and black. Green tea is how I would imagine Koala piss to taste like. I prefer coffee, hot coffee, even on a hot day. So sipping tea for those of you that don't know, means to sip the truth or to tell the truth in a way that isn't bad but is necessary, so it might hurt the recipients feelings but is as gentle as the truth can be.

I have been told, and know this of myself, that I can be brutally honest. I have been aware of how I can come across. It usually is brought out by other bullies or if I see someone being unfair to other outcasts or with family members at the height of reacting to their fuckery. (I am not talking about the incidents where I have been an outright bully. Not proud of that but I was and can be a bully.) I am tempered now through Buddhist studies but the meanness can rise up with viciousness.

I sometimes find the catty way fellow gays deal with the world tiresome. A lot of gay men revert to this mean girl persona as a defense mechanism. A wall of snark that is barbed. Not necessarily armed but sharp enough to cut and possibly maim. When I watch straight men play around with punches and smart remarks I know gay men do it with each other too, just with more words and fewer punches. (I once had a friend mock in front of me how she thought gay men would fight each other. She lisped and swatted like cats do. Yes it was offensive but I told her rightly I came from the trailer park and we come correct. I was taught how to punch by a lesbian. After a while the boys at school stopped trying to fight me because they eventually realized, as faggy as I was, I could fight back. Not to say I was great at throwing a punch but I was good enough to surprise a few assholes. Girls on the other hand were always trying to fight me.)

So I am fatigued from all this. I don't like to fight and I don't like confrontation but I think if you are going to tell the truth, don't sip tea. Drink coffee. If you are going to shade, shade strong.