The Joys of Anal Book

So I wrote a book on how to have anal sex. It's called The Joys of Anal. It's a raunchy book where I discuss things that I feel porn and other media have failed to teach us bottoms (both male and female, straight and gay) on how to have a JOYFUL bottom experience.  It is available on kindle amazon as an ebook. If you get a chance please buy and if it helps you please contact me. Hope it works. I am going to be promoting this book until something happens with it. Hope you The Joys of Anal.

Bradley Cooper and the ugly Heartthrob

Bradley Cooper is a small source of contention with my Boo and me. See I think Bradley Cooper is ugly. Or not handsome enough to be a leading man. (Like how Clark Gable was a Hollywood Heartthrob but if you really look at him, he is ugly as sin.)

*Note I used this pic because he has a hot body but still a butter face.

Now Just because I don't find BC attractive in any light doesn't mean I am taking away from his talent as an actor. I loved him in Silver Linings Playbook and am excited to see him in Joy with Jennifer Lawrence--though David O. Russell is a perv and a dick, he is a brilliant director and made one of of my favorite movies I Heart Huckabees.

My question is: Who is a Hollywood actor/actress or celebrity that you think is ugly or not attractive but others are stupid crazy about?

Top and Bottom Responsibilities or Clean Those Choco Walls

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Two for Tuesday: Willam Belli vs. Selena Gomez

I love Willam. His parodies are the best to me and he can sing. (Note: When referring to a drag artist you usually chose the pronoun that represents what drag they are wearing. For example with RuPaul you referring to Ru as a female when Ru is in feminine drag but when Ru is wearing male drag you refer to Ru in the masculine form. However even when Willam is in female drag to me his masculine side bleeds through--and I am not talking about his infamous beard.)

Willam did a parody of Selena Gomez's video and song 'Love You Like A Love Song' tilted 'love you like a big schlong' which if you watch the video it is highly NSFW or NSFL. Who did it better? I say Willam but that is because there are very hot men in the video and his video appeals to my slutty side. Though Selena's video is clever and does deliver nice visuals.

 Ok Here's the deal. Willam's video is age restricted and at the moment I don't want to make this blog age restricted. If you want to watch Willam's video then YouTube search Willam Belli Big Schlong. Happy Cock hunting.

Swinging C**** at Swinging Richards

So Last night I went to Swinging Richards in Atlanta with my Boo (not a good idea nor a good outcome but that is beside the point). Anyway for those in the dark, Swinging Richards is a gay, male, strip club located near Atlantic Station. It has a main stage where about 4 or 5 guys stand around and strip to club music. The set usually plays through 3 songs. In the first song the strippers dance in their attire, most giving off a specific vibe (like security guard realness). During the first song some articles of clothing come off but it isn’t until the third song that the Swinging Dicks come out. And boy are they a sight. The guys (all various shapes and sizes but all fit) and their cocks (all various shapes and sizes) put on a show. Swinging and strutting and tea-bagging. It is a grotesque beauty to behold. To tip your favorite ‘artist’, the men wear a rubber band around their bicep that you place your bills in or you can place them in their socks or shoes—if they have socks or shoes on. I think the general rule for touching is: you don’t unless the strippers touch you.

 

After a while the novelty of watching hot men swinging their Richards gets old. Even the porn playing on the TV Screens placed in various locations in the bar area gets old as well. To be honest I kind of felt a little disgusted with myself. This is exhibitionism at its height and the men really don’t put on a show. At least not from the little I saw. You can get a semi-private lap dance (yes the men do swing it all as they gyrate on you) as you sit in the bar area and there is a VIP lounge which I didn’t do because I was with people and I didn’t really want that on me.       

The cover is $10 per person. (Though after a certain time on a certain day it increases to $15 and there is a parking fee.) Taking cash is a good idea. There is an ATM but the fees from it and your bank are not really worth it so again think ahead of time. Also if going, go with friends who like this sort of thing. Going with people you just met or with your Boo (who might not like the idea of seeing other Swinging Dicks with their partner) could be a buzz kill. Yes, they serve alcohol. I got a double gin and tonic from a cute, flirty guy who really gave me a triple gin and tonic but only charged me for a double. www.swingingrichards.com

Anyway, do you have a favorite strip club or stripper and what are your thoughts on the whole stripper scene?

Hot Presidential Candidates of 2016

Last night I was watching the CNN Democratic Debate with my Boo. Yes I am dating someone (going on a month now--in fact we kinda had our first unofficial date the night of the Republican debate on CNN). Anyway, as I was watching the debate I couldn't help but fall in temporary lust over Martin O'Malley. DAMN THAT IS A DILF. He reminds me of a Porn Daddy. The kinda older guy that has experience and knows how to use his cock.

Did he win the debate? No, to me Hillary won it by a hair. Bernie (not a DILF but kinda cute when he was younger--those teeth though) really gave Hillary a run for her money and took a little of her thunder when he stood up for her in regards to her email scandal. But Let Us get back to that DILF O'Malley. He has inspired today's HOT 2016 Presidential Candidates. Remember Politics is the Hollywood for Ugly people so Not that many true hotties but we can make it work.

1. Martin O'Malley
No that is not photoshopped and yes there are better pics of DILF O'Malley shirtless but I like the wet factor here and his expression gives me an idea of what his Orgasm Face might look like.

2. Bernie Sanders
This is a dreamy pic of young Bernie. There are pictures of him smiling and before he got his teeth fixed those fangs were kinda frightening. However in this pic he looks like a romantic poet.

3. Marco Rubio
Poor Marco. He was very hot before the thinning hair issue. But I believe once he embraces that balding dome of his, he will enter into hot Papi status. MMMMMMM Marco!
















4. Rick Perry
Yes, I know this piece of shit has dropped out but he still ran. Also, once you get beyond his idiocy you can see why he has fueled hot, gay rumors. If only.......

5. Rand Paul
Not necessarily Hot but Handsome. He does have that Just For Men quality about him. I wonder if his pubes are just as curly as his hair.

One Night Stand: Stay With Me Sam Smith

I am very familiar with one night stands, hook-ups, Grindr tricking, or whatever euphemism you want to use to describe having sex with a complete stranger and then really not seeing them ever again. I have said this before, I don't equate sex with intimacy. To me getting fucked or fucking isn't the same as holding hands with your person. Sex can lead to intimacy and it can lead to relationships but mostly it doesn't.

I like Sam Smith's song about how sometimes, even if you are as jaded as I am when it comes Grindr tricking, you might want more than an physical connection to the person you just nutted with. But I have also experienced the opposite of that feeling. When you wake up and the guy next to you is a complete melter who you want to kick out as soon as the hangover allows you to.

So that is why I am posting both videos The original and a parody starring Looking's David Franzese. Hope you enjoy.

 

 

 

Bottoms equal Submissives? Laurell K. Hamiton and BDSM

I just finished reading Laurell K. Hamilton's Dead Ice. BTW I used to be a big Anita Blake fan (Anita is Laurell's main character in her vampire series) but at present I find her and the series tedious, particularly when she is talking about relationships and her harem of male lovers (occasional female). I read the book after a ten book boycott because I was at the library and saw the hardcover of Dead Ice featured. I opened the book midway and Anita was dealing with a case that seemed to be old school Anita. Anita Blake back in the day when she was fighting monsters, raising the dead (literally--she is an animator/necromancer), and solving mysteries. I missed this Anita, so much that I started reading the book from the beginning instead of doing actual work. I felt that fevered rush I had in the early days of the series. And the new novel was dealing with a case that brought back old memories and players from the second book in the series. The Laughing Corpse actually gave me nightmares after reading it. I had nightmares that Dominga Salvador  (Anita's nemesis in the novel) was trying to get me in my sleep the same way she did with Anita in a monstrous scene of Zombies attacking our heroine in her sleep.

Anyway this is not an Anita Blake/Laurell K. Hamilton post only. I want to talk about Bottoms. In the gay community a bottom is a guy who takes the dick up the ass. To a straight couple I would be considered the female counterpart since I am a bottom. Many people think however being a bottom, taking it up the ass, makes me a submissive, but as I have heard many gay, male bottoms say (I have paraphrased this sentiment a few times myself) taking a dick up the ass isn't for the weak.  In the gay community though being a bottom is seen as weak. As a position that feminizes the male in some way. (Yes, Virginia, Misogyny does exist in the gay community!) I am a power bottom. I don't lie there letting my brown flower get pounded unless I am feeling lazy. To me sex is about active participation. Some men however think being a top means they are in a dominant power position inside and outside the sexual boundaries of the relationship. I don't like power plays within relationships unless you are in an established BDSM relationship. BDSM is short hand for relationships that involve Bondage, Dominance, Submission, and Masochism. Which is why I started this post talking about Laurell K. Hamilton.

One of the criticisms I have read online about the series is how Anita's sexuality has taken over the show. Some have accused Hamilton of just writing Porn Without Plot ( I have too). But Anita's sexuality hasn't just opened up to having random sex with near strangers at the detriment of the plot but the character has also been exploring the subculture of BDSM, way before 50 Shades of Bad Writing came along. As I wrote earlier, I have a ten book gap but I am not surprised that Anita has now taken up BDSM. Just before I boycotted the series BDSM was beginning to show up in the periphery. In BDSM a bottom is someone who receives the action: whipping, spanking, getting fucked, etc. But being a bottom doesn't make one a submissive. I really enjoy getting fucked. I don't enjoy fucking. If I were to be in an active BDSM relationship I would have a top who would be submissive in every other way since I can't myself be submissive. (I have experimented with submissive sex play and yes I will say for one guy I was with I was able to do it, but even then I found the role tiresome.) Because I don't want this post to be a TL;DR post I will stop here but I want to ask.

How do you feel about submission and dominance in a relationship?

Dating: Equal Opportunity Employer

So when it comes to dating I am an EOE or Equal Opportunity Employer. To me limiting yourself to a type is boring. Diversity is king. I have dated guys who were short, tall, fat, thin, older, younger, flamboyant, stoic, bland, quiet, loud, black, white, mixed, Asian, Native American, French, Korean Filipino, American, and South African. They were all tops or versatile though. And the one thing, after all this dating, I learned was told to me by one of my first boyfriends, Juan. He said just before he broke up with me that Men can be dogs and Gay Men are the worst. But that isn't the point of this post.

Anyway I question when a type becomes a fetish and a lack of a type becomes a buffet. I know some friends who only date younger. They state that the youth of their partner helps them maintain a finger on the pulse of the world. I knew one girl in my early 20's who would only date black men from Africa. Her tastes were that specific. When another friend finds a new boyfriend, the guy is sure to be White, American, Preppy. For me that gets boring.

The first time I dated I was dating two guys at once: one was white and the other Native American. I think variety is the spice of life and dating shouldn't be limited to a fetishized type but I have had people comment I will date any man with a pulse. Not true. I do have some external deal breakers that won't be discussed here. But when it comes to marriage: is it more difficult for EOE daters such as myself to find a person to walk down the aisle with and easier for those specific types to find the one to build a life with? I wonder if true monogamy can be had with types like myself.

Is Monogamy Monotony?

Chow Down at Chick-fil-A or Don't

So I eat at Chick-fil-A. Yes! Go ahead and boo me. I don't care. Look. I ain't all happy about it but when I was working at the Mall it was the best place to get food on a lunch break. As my friend T------- says sometimes you gotta be about that life. She was referencing Starbucks but this could be used for a lot of stuff. I ate at Chick-fil-A before I knew about the Hate Gay thing and I ate there after the whole Hate Gay thing.

I am not a boycott kinda queen. I don't think this works. I believe change happens within systems more so than outside systems. Not to say that when I order a combo, I am espousing my gayness but boycotting something doesn't work in the way it used too. Look at Paula Dean. We all thought her career was over when she was outed as a racist but she is now hocking furniture, has endorsements again, and if she can cut the melodramatics and make a sincere apology will win back a big portion of her fans once she shows up on Dancing with the Stars. I am tuning in to see Gary Busey btw. I became a kinda fan of his when he appeared on Celebrity Big Brother UK.

To alleviate some of the guilt I have when I occasionally eat at Chick-fil-A, I use their wifi and play Willam Belli's song Chow Down at Chick-fil-A. I feel like this takes away some of the badness I should feel at eating their delicious waffle fries.

What is something you do that you shouldn't do?

A James Bond Post: Idris Elba and Sam Smith.

Until Daniel Craig embodied the role of James Bond, I never found the character sexy. By the time Bond was on my radar, Sean Connery had vacated the post and Roger Moore was the new Bond. I always found Roger Moore a bit silly, and I also think he helped usher in the era of Bond as a Fop.
Moore, Dalton, and Brosnan were all sophisticated, yet silly in their tailoring, their mannerisms too upper crust British (at least to a young American eye) to be taken seriously as a killer spy, so because of this I never found any sensations stirring down below while watching them. Until Craig entered the picture that is. Moore, Dalton, and Brosnan may fit the more Golden Ratio idea of male beauty but Craig exudes swagger. You know when he fucks you that you are getting a man who doesn't care if you touch his hair. Which takes me to the rumors of another man of swagger who has longed been associated with the possibility of playing Bond: Idris Elba.

Idris Elba is sex on a stick. A face that comes close to Golden Ratio perfection but flawed enough to give him a real world appeal. Again he has swagger. I loved that part in Prometheus when he propositioned Charlize Theron's character. It was in that scene I knew he would give you the right attention in bed as he lay on top you loving you down so good you are screaming (Macy Gray). But unlike Craig, I think he has a sophistication that the old Guard had without the foppish tendencies.

Now on to Sam Smith: The gay, male version of Adele. I am not so shocked to see Smith chosen as the next singer for the Bond Theme song. Other than a similar sound to Skyfall (a song that is up there with Dame Shirely Bassey's trilogy, featuring the iconic Goldfinger) I don't see what Smith will bring. I always have been a reluctant fan of Smith: his vulnerability which helped him turn a fumbled first outing into a male Siren, singing about the heart and the repercussions of scorn, has always seemed a bit calculated. How does his Siren voice fit into a genre that embodies misogynistic, hyper heteronormative sexuality?

Oh Well. Who is your favorite Bond and What is your favorite Bond Song?

The video posted is a parody of 'Stay with Me'. Hope you enjoy it. Kinda NSFW.

Dating Younger or What's age got to do with it?

So I know it's been a while. Anyway. I went on a date Saturday. His name is Alex and I met him on Grindr. I know meeting guys online. "Not worth it. Blah. Blah. Blah." Let me counter you with this: even in progressive cities such as Atlanta, meeting guys online is safer for gays, and queers.

So let's get back to the dating part. I knew he was 10 years younger than me but I didn't know he was 10 years younger than me. What I mean is the level of maturity displayed on the phone didn't match up, as much, in real life. The date went well but the over sharing of youth, the know it all--seen it all attitude (not strong with him but still there), owning a wallet with a chain, and the small things that being in your late thirties affords you that you still lack in your twenties, such as knowing yourself politically without the influence of family, began to add up.

I've dated guys in their 20's as a man in my 30's and I usually find myself sliding into a big brother role. Not something I want in a romantic relationship: Sibcest is not appealing to me. Also I usually have to take the lead in a relationship with a younger guy and as someone whose job for many years meant taking the lead and managing others, whether that be in a retail environment or in the classroom, I prefer in my romantic relationships to be more passive. Not submissive. I don't like anyone to be in control over me essentially, but in matters such as where to eat and what to see, as long as I have a veto for the things I really don't care to participate in, I don't mind a guy or even a friend making the mundane decisions. I digress.

Beyond the youthful grating, I had fun on the date. He was nice. Funny, Cute with light, blue eyes.
He paid the bill, which I was surprised because I am older than him and I initiated the meeting. We were circling a date but he wouldn't act and I found myself being the reluctant leader (it's something I realized I was in Leadership class--a required class for one of my school scholarships). We then went to a movie (I paid) and chatted while waiting for the movie. We saw Minions. Yes I know, here I am complaining about his immaturity and we see Minions. I conceded to watching it because other than Sinister 2, it was the only other movie I hadn't see yet. We ended up back at my place and shared an awkward kiss.

I've still been talking to him since Saturday but I am not sure about where this is going. Or I should say I am not sure where I want to go with this. Unlike the Youth Minister I know Alex is really interested in me but like the Youth Minister I want someone near my age or older. I see the irony of this dating cycle with the last one. the irony of age in both cases. HMMMM!

So: Would you date someone 10 years younger?

My Type of Hot Mess: Saint Motel

So I am waiting to see American Ultra. I usually watch movies on Saturday. While I am waiting for the movie to start I hang out at Starbucks and watch YouTube videos. YouTube has a My Mix playlist that loads videos previously watched or videos you might like. In the playlist is a video by Saint Motel called My Type. It's a catchy song and the drummer is hot. Greg Erwin plays the bartender in the video. He is the drummer.

I think he is the cutest. He also reminds me of a fling I had with South African Mark in January and February of 2014. Mark was gorgeous and a gorgeous hot mess. At best I am a 6.5. But he was a 9, his body was beginning to go pudgy from the alcohol. Mark was also younger than me and on a scale of crazy a 10.  My Bipolar 2 was cycling hard that winter and I was an easy 8. With him I reached a 10. The first night we spent together, we both hit each other while drunk. I was turned on so was he. The next morning, my headache was pounding from all the liquor but my hypomania was driving me to clean and organize on a Sunday while a hot guy laid in my bed. A hot mess who I had had disastrous sex with.

I don't necessarily have a physical type. I am an equal opportunity kinda hook up. Yet my crazy seeks a more crazy guy. BTW, my mood disorder is being managed so no hot messes in my life at the moment. A bit boring I know.

So what's your type of Crazy?

Gay Animal Archetypes

I was going to do a TBT post but wasn't inspired. Last night I was talking to my roommate and asked her if in the straight community body types and styles were referred to in animalistic terms, such as bears, otters, etc. She thought about it, briefly. Her answer was no.

I am not sure when gay men started to identify with animal archetypes but I do know as we get older we move on from high school archetypes and more and more associate with our animal brethren. Not to say old qualifiers aren't bandied around like show queen or circuit boy but it seems in the gay community we have reached a new era and it's a bit beastly.

Here are some of the more known Animalistic Archetypes:

Bears
Bears are hairy, big, and usually older. Cubs are younger and may not be as hairy as a bear. The Bear community has split itself into sub categories. Mostly into bears that are just fat and big versus the ones that work out and are fat and muscular. Bears are usually found on Growlr and eschew say Grindr. Bears are more masculine oriented.









Otters
Otters are guys who have more of a swimmers build but are hairy. They are also a bit cutesy and boyish despite being any age. You can find otters on any gay app or dating site, usually sporting a baseball cap with hairy abs showing, and mischievous grins.








Wolves
Like bears they are very masculine and very hairy. But whereas Bears are friendly and open, wolves tend to be more dominant and intimidating. Muscular with a leaner body type than a bear (even a muscled bear) and very sexually aggressive. A good way to tell a muscled wolf apart from a muscled bear is a bear is usually a bit smiley and even when fit has a bit of a paunch on him. Mostly seen on Scruff.












Pig
A pig is not a fat man. Pigs well are sexually piggy. Usually submissive and will do anything for their Wolf master. Pigs are usually muscular but actual body type is reflective on the fetish of those they are piggishly submitting to. (NO IMAGE: I am trying to keep this blog PG-13 on the images. There are no clean images of a Pig. That is something you should google on your own.)

I am slightly chubby. Not hairy really. Except my legs which I think is lucky because unless you are a swimmer I don't think smooth legs on a man is acceptable. I can't really grow a beard that looks bearish or wolfish and I don't work out. (I should but am afraid of injuries after hurting my tricep in 2007 and then putting too much icy hot on it--essentially frying the nerve for a while.) Maybe I am a Seal or a Dolphin or just a human being.

What is your Animal Archetype?

Blues

Big post tomorrow. Promise. Was feeling a certain kinda way all day. I just don't know how to get motivated lately.

Games

I have been dating since 18. I talked about that in my first blog. Anyway I am a pro by now at dating games: playing them and getting played. All is fair in dating and hook ups, right?

I thought going out with a Youth Minister would be different especially since we both laid out in the pre-date (in online dating pre-dating is the texting you do before actually meeting) that we didn't want to view this as a hook up. And we didn't. Though we did have a big make out session.

On Sunday the Youth Minister texted me. He said he was also seeing someone else and he wanted to go further with that guy. But he still wanted to be my friend. I told him off of course. Though we had been dating (four dates is dating) for a short time, it still stung.

And we didn't even fuck.

My Top Five Hot Spies:

I like spy movies. As I've gotten older I've learned to enjoy the near improbable plots and silly twists (even in serious Spy Movies.) I am about to go see The Man from U. N. C. L. E., so because of this all hot spies in U. N. C. L. E.  are not listed since I haven't seen the movie yet. Now let's get to counting.

1. Daniel Craig's James Bond. Yes. I know Sean Connery. But Sean never gave us this.

2. Bruce Willis' Frank Moses from RED. I loved that movie from the moment I saw Bruce Willis take down all those guys in his house. Bruce Willis has always been that Hot Daddy type. The one you know would slow burn as he fucked you. Occasionally spanking your ass just to show you who's in charge.

3.Taron Egerton's Eggsy from Kingsman: The Secret Service. Colin Firth was handsome in his old school spy mode but Eggsy was that cute bloke that you wanted to save you and then fuck you.

4. Matt Damon's Jason Bourne from the Bourne Trilogy. I started getting into spy movies when I saw Matt Damon kick serious ass while trying to recover his memory. Though probably hot in bed, you do need to watch out for those dangerous flashbacks during coitus.

5. Simon Pegg's Benji Dunn from the Mission Impossible franchise. I know, why not other hot men such as Tom. I like nerdy types as well as buff bodies. Simon Pegg's humor and quirky wit is hot enough to get me going on those long stakeouts.

TBT: He-Man

TBT: He-Man

He-Man was the first celebrity crush I had. I don't remember when I first watched He-Man but I remember knowing instinctively that I was not watching it for the plot lines or the production values. Prince Adam was ok but I (a bottom) knew he was a fellow bottom and it would never work between us. Prince Adam was also kinda Meh. I like my men a little crazy. The steroids that pumped up Adam into He-Man (c'mon you know that light was filled with nano steroids) came from the Sorceress and she was crazy herself. The byotch had agoraphobia.

Anyway something about He-Man in that loincloth with his deep voice spoke to the little queer in me. I was around five when I first saw He-Man so I knew it wasn't a sexual attraction per se, but I wanted him to hold me. Plus every time he would mount Battle Cat I would experience waves of jealousy. When I got my first toy, I was so excited. Unfortunately I didn't have a huge He-Man collection because we were very poor. (Trailer Park Poor.) I was always jealous of my cousins who had a better collection of He-Man.

Right now I am watching an episode on YouTube. It's the one where Prince Adam's mother has her own TBT remembering her past as an astronaut. Watching it now I am kinda bored. Even the kitschness of the show only goes so far. But still though I have out grown He-Man, I will forever be grateful to him and his loincloth.

Who was your first celebrity crush?

Male Celebrity Nudes

Lenny Kravitz's crotch split was news last week. In the media he has been a sport but privately he has expressed his embarrassment. Some reports  saying he is considering suing any outlet that continues to publish, share, or tweet the images.

I personally say he should let it die. Yes we will all remember it and those photos will forever live on the internet. However news cycles are so fast that most will forget or just not care about Crotch Split Lenny. He should just focus on his meh music.

True confession sometimes when I get bored I google a male celebrity's name with the added term nude. Yes I know it's wrong but I want to know what they are working with.

That Awkward Moment

That Awkward Moment:

I watched the movie That Awkward Moment last night with the Youth Minister (fourth date--are we dating?). It's a bro movie with Zac Efron, Miles Teller, and Michael B. Jordan. Beyond the raunch (and I was a bit shocked that I found the movie not as raunchy as the Youth Minister--something to think about), the movie is a about three friends at crossroads in their relationships with women. Two, Miles and Zac, are single sluts who have rosters of women that they sleep with and then dump when That Awkward Moment happens, usually based on the conjunction "So". Awkward because it is a moment in a relationship when the future is discussed. Michael is a workaholic doctor who has his own Awkward Moment when his wife files for divorce and he finds out she is also fucking said divorce attorney. I liked the movie though it did get bad reviews. Youth Minister liked it as well.

But the movie got me thinking about my own awkward moments. Moments when in a relationship, or when you are dating someone and you need to assess if this is going somewhere or not, you meet that crossroad. In my first blog post I talked about having two boyfriends at the same time when I just became sexually active. With Juan our awkward moment happened when we were about to have anal sex and I had a melt down about the nature of our relationship, what it was and where it was going. We had been having so much oral sex that I confused SEX with LOVE. Suffice it to say the relationship ended that night. I was so upset and hated him and at once would do anything to have him back. I was pathetic. But I am glad for that Awkward Moment. It strengthened me and helped me realize that SEX and LOVE are not equal.  I think it is also worth mentioning that Juan was in his late 20's and I was 18.

Right now, I also feel awkward. With the Youth Minister I feel like we are moving at a glacial pace. Sexually I should point out. I usually at least blow a guy on the first date but we haven't even gotten our shirts off and he didn't want to kiss me last night because he felt a cold coming on. UGH! Sexually it's glacial but that Awkward Moment is coming up fast.

So....What are your Awkward Moments?

Oh and after the jump is the best NSFW scene from the movie.

DILF: Gavin Rossdale

DILF:Gavin Rossdale


I haven't thought of Gavin Rossdale in years. Haven't listened to his music (does he still make new music?) since the 90's when I was a teenager. Gavin has recently appeared back in the news with the break up of his marriage to Gwen Stefani.


The thing about Gavin is he is bisexual. Having come out after being called out by Boy George. Georgie said Rossdale had an affair with Peter Robinson aka Marilyn. Eventually Rossdale fessed up to the 5 year fling saying it was youthful experimentation. To me Rossdale was the best in Constantine with Keanu Reeves. I loved that sexy demon look he had going on. Now that he is split from Gwen maybe this time he will find love with a guy. All us 'Mo's can dream.

Sexual Mind Games

Playing Games

Why do we play games? I am not talking about board games or video games or online games or any of those kinds of strategy adventures. I am talking about Mind Games. The kind of bullshit you do to control the people in your life. Well there in lies the answer. We use Mind Games to control and a need to control rises mostly out of insecurity in ourselves. A sense of insecurity leads to feelings of powerlessness. We want to feel powerful in relationships: love, sex, work, and family and friends . This blog is a sexual exploration blog. A place where we can go to have a discussion about sex and how it effects and affects love and relationships and health. Which leads me to the Kings of sexual mind games: The Pick Up Artist.
           
Pick Up Artists (PUA) are people who use learned skills to find and attract sexual partners. The Art of Seduction. Most people have flirted in their adult sexual life. Flirted, courted, talked up, chatted, sexted. Trying to get laid is nothing new. Even birds and bees do it. So the Art of Seduction is something we have all practiced but PUA's are a different breed. They seem to view seduction as not just finding a mate but as a skill to find conquests. These guys and gals (but this community is really made up of mostly guys) are the underdogs of society; people who feel insecure about themselves and view the skills they learn from master PUA's as a means to take control of their sexual life. There are some benevolent tricks and techniques you can learn from PUA's but mostly the nerds (I am a gay nerd) who practice this art have feelings of entitlement and use these skills in negative ways.

Many view what they do as a true game. And if played well invigorate their sense of entitlement.They jumped through hoops, showed their smarts and agility, defeated Bowser and now demand the Princess. But what if the Princess doesn't want them? Or what if she shows her gratefulness in a hug, a kiss, or just a kind word? Are PUA's, or the Mario cosplay nerds, entitled to getting laid? NO! And that is the issue with Mind Games. We play them to control, to take, to feel superior but what about the victims of the games we play? Many times in the PUA community an Artist meets a Princess who opts out of playing the game. Has defeat Bowser all on her own. And then the vilification of said Princess begins because the PUA feels somehow cheated.

My point is this: Sexual mind games never end well. At best feelings get hurt and the PUA thinks one conquest should net more or worse, in some cases sexual assualt. Let's stop playing Mind Games especially sexual mind games.

DILF of the day: Crotch Split Lenny

DILF: Lenny Kravitz
Or better known as Dad I'd like to fuck. In this case Dad I'd like to fuck me. Let's talk about Lenny Kravitz. As a lot of you might know, Lenny had a 'wardrobe malfunction' during a performance in Stockholm. I would have visuals but this blog is mostly PG-13 when it comes to IMAGES. and I am at Starbucks. The good seats where I could discreetly post an image are not available. but here is a link that you can access to see the crotch split that the world didn't know it needed until it happened.

http://stylenews.peoplestylewatch.com/2015/08/04/lenny-kravitz-pants-rip-on-stage-exposes-penis/


NOW we know how lucky Lisa Bonet and Nicole Kidman (among others) are--I use the present tense because though they aren't riding him now the memories are still alive for these women. Not the biggest penis I've seen * but nothing to be ashamed of and definitely something worth riding cowgirl/cowboy on. I always thought Lenny's music was mostly Meh but damn he is a fine man.

*Or the biggest I've had though I am not a size queen.

If you are going to shade, shade strong.

Not sure what to write. Maybe about the whole sipping tea thing. I don't like tea. I find it gross unless it is ice cold and black. Green tea is how I would imagine Koala piss to taste like. I prefer coffee, hot coffee, even on a hot day. So sipping tea for those of you that don't know, means to sip the truth or to tell the truth in a way that isn't bad but is necessary, so it might hurt the recipients feelings but is as gentle as the truth can be.

I have been told, and know this of myself, that I can be brutally honest. I have been aware of how I can come across. It usually is brought out by other bullies or if I see someone being unfair to other outcasts or with family members at the height of reacting to their fuckery. (I am not talking about the incidents where I have been an outright bully. Not proud of that but I was and can be a bully.) I am tempered now through Buddhist studies but the meanness can rise up with viciousness.

I sometimes find the catty way fellow gays deal with the world tiresome. A lot of gay men revert to this mean girl persona as a defense mechanism. A wall of snark that is barbed. Not necessarily armed but sharp enough to cut and possibly maim. When I watch straight men play around with punches and smart remarks I know gay men do it with each other too, just with more words and fewer punches. (I once had a friend mock in front of me how she thought gay men would fight each other. She lisped and swatted like cats do. Yes it was offensive but I told her rightly I came from the trailer park and we come correct. I was taught how to punch by a lesbian. After a while the boys at school stopped trying to fight me because they eventually realized, as faggy as I was, I could fight back. Not to say I was great at throwing a punch but I was good enough to surprise a few assholes. Girls on the other hand were always trying to fight me.)

So I am fatigued from all this. I don't like to fight and I don't like confrontation but I think if you are going to tell the truth, don't sip tea. Drink coffee. If you are going to shade, shade strong.

Gay Marriage for Gaye Lauren?

I am happy I have the right to marry. It is something that I wouldn't think would happen. Even in 2015. Despite the last seven years under the Obama Administration, the political atmosphere seems like it was in 2004 when Evil Bush and Overlord Cheney were conducting a Jihad on Gays and Lesbians. Jeb Bush is cut from the same cloth as his brother, though he does like the swirl in bed. (Apparently Mama Bush hated her reptilian blood line getting muddled with Hispanic hotness.) Here is the thing, the US still has a bigoted population that would kill me for the things I have done with many men (sometimes with multiple men at one time).

But is marriage for me? At the moment: NO! This reluctance to marry, to find a man to settle down with and "fuck for life" comes from deep seeded issues of commitment. Marriage at the moment is not what drives me. Maybe in the future and I am grateful that I have the option for that now.

When I found out that gay marriage was legal for everyone in all 50 states of the union, I found myself singing "Proud to be an American". I am proud. Now on to the next cause.

Anal Adventures: My first time.

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